On Wednesday September 15 I received the kind of text from a friend that one never wants. A friend of ours has a brain tumor and was undergoing surgery at Sloan in NYC. Two days later, it was confirmed that the diagnosis is glioblastoma, an aggressive type of cancer that can occur in the brain or spinal cord.
I wrote in my journal that night: "2 yr to live max - John McCain, Beau Biden and Ted Kennedy all died from it - It's a devastating diagnosis." Even though I wrote that about 2 years, I don't know that to be true. But writing it and what follows shows the evolution of my thinking in the last week.
Friday's Unity Daily Word was Divine Order. The affirmation was
Divine order gives structure and purpose to life.
Over the weekend some of my journaling was about how I would feel and what I would do if I received that diagnosis. "Betrayed by my own body. Get it out of me." And some was about what I could do, if anything, for this friend. I also wrote: "What on earth do I say to this friend if she even wants to talk? I've been thinking of you - how are you? God will give me the words to say. Talk to her husband first? So sorry ... Dear God. Divine order ain't so great for everyone - in this human's opinion."
On Monday evening I wrote: "Woke up to DW Pray for Others - 'Instead of fretting or wishing I could do something, I turn within and pray ... Holding each dear one in my heart, I envision each enfolded in serenity ... comforted and guided with each step.'"
Later tonight I realized that divine order is for me to do what I can, it's me being present to my friend and her husband in any way that I can here and now. I also realized that my intention will be to focus on her serenity not her situation.
On Tuesday morning I called both my friend - no answer or voice mail - and her husband - voice mail but I didn't feel comfortable leaving a message. I put a card in the mail that day and will call again.
I don't know how the days ahead will be. If anyone has suggestions for gentle ways to interact with this friend, share in the Comments section.
With gratitude and humility,
~ Jean
Image: grammartop.com
I'm sorry to add that my friend died of pneumonia yesterday morning. So sudden and so sad.
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